1 year old

Dearest B.,

This is the second draft of your 1-year-old letter. I have too much to say and I'm at a loss for the words to say it, so let me start by congratulating you on your first year. Happy birthday my sweet prince.

You have made so many strides since I last wrote you a letter from my heart -- I really don't know how I can fit it all it.

First, you are such a handsome, big, growing young man! You communicate with us through words, sign, emotions and body language. We still don't quite get all that you are trying to convey, but we're all getting the hang of it. You have no problem voicing displeasure (you little headbanger, you!) or delight (screams/squeals/giggles). Physically, you have learned so, so much. You went from crawling to standing to walking (the record so far is six steps on your own). You picked up sign language with gusto, and even though we're slacking on teaching you Spanish, you are mastering your own form of English. But your words everyone can understand are Mama and Dada. I, for one, melt when I hear that.

I don't get all the cuddles I always want, but I am overcome with joy when you crawl or walk to me and give me the biggest, sloppiest, wettest kisses. I can't get enough. You can even blow kisses, even though you do it with the back of your hand. Still, we get the point. The best feeling in the world is when you cling onto me -- my leg, my arm, my torso. I'll never get enough squeezes from you!

Your appearance amazes me. Your hair is long and curly -- sometimes strangers mistake you for a little girl ... don't they see your outfits?! -- your eight teeth are white and sparkly, and your eyes are mesmerizing. They are steely blue/green and see deep into my soul when I look at them. And they sparkle every morning when you wake up, ready to tackle your next big adventure. They look at us for approval each time you discover something new. And even though they do not see me each night before you go to bed, know that I'm thinking of you, working hard for you, since every thing I do now is just for you and our family.

And your energy, hoo boy, it's unbelievable. Nana sums it up the best: You are busy. Thank goodness you don't mind a few tumbles because you've taken your share. We have four baby gates around the house, the cats know to clear a path when you're on the case and there's nothing you can't or won't explore. You're a master of climbing up the stairs, bouncing on the couch and you sure love to dance (wonder where you get that from?!). You also like to throw the kitchen cabinet contents out onto the floor, banging stuff together and making a big ruckus followed by a big guffaw. The untidiness doesn't bother me. Makes me smile every time.

But what I want to say most of all is thank you. Thank you for bringing such purpose and joy to my life. I could not have imagined my life without you one year (and two days) ago, and I know my love for you grows exponentially each day. The reason I was put on this earth is to love you, raise you, teach you to have a good heart, to be a good person, to do good. (I don't mean do well, though I know you'll be the best you can be, but to truly do good.)

Your father and I love you like no other, we would do anything for you, and I never knew that our parents would sacrifice their lives for us until I became a mother. Because I would do the same for you, a million times over.

You truly are my golden ticket.

These three words seem so miniscule compared with the feelings I have, but...

I love you,
Mommy

P.S. If I forgot anything, know that I'll send you a private e-mail. I've already sent a few things your way for you to discover when you're ready. Hugs and kisses, monkey!