Go ahead . . . laugh

It's been almost a week since my comedy-of-errors Saturday. I've been meaning to share this laughable day's events, but life has gotten in the way.

I woke up on my day off, eager to hit the pool at the rec center by my house. When I grabbed my bathing suit, I rolled it into a towel and hit the road. I bought a 20-pass punch card then walked into the women's locker room to change, confident my swollen ankles would soon be history. One problem.

I left half of my swim suit at home. For about 2 seconds I considered swimming in my underwear, but decided I should probably go home to get the rest of my suit. When I saw the front-desk manager on my way out, he asked me to come back in an hour since he let his lifeguard go to lunch after nobody had shown up to swim yet. Guess I'll have some time to kill.

So I went home, gathered my suit and made sure I was prepared this time. Since I didn't have an extra padlock for the lockers, I bought one at King Soopers. While I was there, I decided to get some gasoline.

Back at the rec center, I had my towel and underthings tucked under one arm, my new lock and purse in the other. I leaned over to take a sip from the drinking fountain (since I forgot my water bottle, which I take everywhere), except I felt something on my arm. I swatted at it. Probably just a stray cat hair I brought from home. Just then I felt a huge pinch!

I threw my purse and towel across the hallway, bra and underwear flying through the air. I looked at my arm. A huge red dot marked the spot where something bit me, about an inch below where I usually wear my watchband. What had it been? My thoughts were racing. Was it a spider? I had to check the towel. When I picked up a corner and shook it out, a bee buzzed up from underneath.

I couldn't remember having been stung by a bee in my adult life. Getting stung by a jellyfish hurt less. I was panicking. The arm turned red and swollen; a small diameter around the sting turned white. Should I go home to treat this? Will I have a serious reaction? Should I just stay and swim?

I picked the last option, collecting my undergarments from the hallway of the rec center. Luckily, it appeared nobody saw me flailing around and swatting at the air.

I carefully changed into my bathing suit and folded all my clothes neatly in a locker. I unwrapped the new lock, memorized the combination, checked it once and tried putting it through the hoop. Another problem. It wouldn't click. What was the deal? I checked the lock again, discovering it wasn't the lock, it was the locker. The hoop was too thick for the lock's neck to fit around. Great. I left my clothes there (who's going to steal maternity clothes?) and took my purse with me.

Now this is where I think it should get even more interesting, but it doesn't. I should just count myself as lucky that I didn't have some sort of accident or mishap while I was in the pool. Whew.